should i apply what i have learned, or should i forget?

memory memory memory.

memories from the past have been having their time with me lately. it started with a dream that was something like this....

"my friend was hesitant to tell me something. yet after the silence that was there, he tried his best to look into my eyes and told me that he did not want to be the bearer of bad tiding but he had to tell me that..."

and i woke up. i never knew what the bad news was about, and then for some reason i got to thinking about this particular woman in my life. hmmm... you could say that she is a thorny part of my life. i got confused, and is started asking myself if i have been repressing feelings from seasons so alive of long ago who are now dead. perhaps. perhaps not. and after that, memories came rushing by, uninvited. unwanted.

still, the question is, should i apply what i have learned, or should i go for a tabula rasa ?

and what are the lessons i have learned? well, lets say i know by heart the basic tenets of sun tzu's the art of war. as well as some lessons from the man himself, machiavelli.

of course, i read a lot of gaiman, and i learned a lot from dream's imprisonment and changing and ultimately, his dying.

i know you don's have the answer to my question. i know that only i could possibly answer them and make them true. i guess it won't hurt to blurt it out.

im outta here.