early morning with venus...

about 3 nights ago, one of the eletrical post went with a blast, bright lights before plunging the streets into darkness. as you may realize if you gaze up the sky, the moon is nearly full (or has it already been full, i dont know...) and so are the stars. then, i found myself staring up at the sky. it feels cheesy though, remembering that line from an old song about two people far apart looking at the stars, thinking of each other. not only cheesy, but it also sucks, cause im sure there were other people looking at the sky at that time, many of them in pairs, while i am very sure that no one is thinking of me though i am thinking of someone. self pity

background music - 3 Libras by A Perfect Circle

though the moon was full, it was a good sight of the stars, clear skies. i tried to remember the constellations that i remember, small dipper, orion..the rest i forgot. it must have been the planer venus that shined the brightest. then suddenly, i felt, remembered, that though the stars have served as guides for voyagers, the constellations reminded me that my own is down the drain. there i was looking at the lights, soem dead, some living, some perhaps newly born. i saw the light of the stars and remmebered that they are mere fragments of the past, their light that is.

and where was i? i felt insignicant. i wanted to go inside and write, find shelter between the pages that i always tuck with me. but something kept me rooted. and gazing. remembering.

3 Libras
Mer de Noms

threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me.
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.
so i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. apparently nothing.
you don't see me.
you don't see me at all.

(watch the video..you wont regret it!)

after sometime, i found myself feeling empty. i dont know if the stars and moon have taken it away from me, or if i somehow offered it to them, and they accepted it. empty, yes, but i had a smile on my face. and the reason? i dont really know why...

i guess it had something to do with venus, flaring for mortal eyes such as mine...