Turning Seven
20 February 2000
Early morning…
I woke up to the ringing of the cellphone I always kept by my side. I was informed that you were on your way, half a world away, and they would be going on their way to meet and welcome you.
I stayed home all day. For a very good reason, I could not go out of the house, not knowing when and how you would be arriving. I knew that your journey was one that was filled with some danger, and I was worried and afraid about your journey, as well as also worried about the one person who was with you.
Even now, I could not remember a day when time seemed to be so slow, stretched out by my waiting. I knew then that all that I could have done was to wait, and yet while I was doing that, I must confess I was eager for a call, for that warm voice to tell me that you had arrived.
I did not feel hungry that day, and that must be the reason why I skipped my lunch. But beside me was a fresh pack of cigarette, reds, alongside a crumpled one and an ashtray filled with butts, ashes overflowing.
The day stretched out, the sun that was rising was now on its way down, falling, slowly.
I received news that you had already arrived about 6 hours after you did. It was then that I found myself smiling. The dangerous journey that you undertook was over, and the one who was with you was also doing fine. Mixed with emotions, I then sent out messages to friends who were also waiting for your arrival.
We waited for you for nearly 9 months seven years ago.
Today is seven years after that day. A lot of things have happened, tragedies and mysteries unveiled.
Seven years ago today, and still we are both half a world away.
I honestly don’t know if you are going to make another journey where your feet would lead you half a world away to where I am. And even if you did, I honestly don’t know if I would still be there, to welcome you as I should have, seven years ago. But then, that would still be seven years from now, or two seven years from now. At least, we have today, seven years since that day.
Happy Birthday Jian, my son.
Thank you for the gift of making my dreams and ideals come true with your every breath.
Who you would be, what you would do, where you would go, everything about you I know and do not know is enough for me to smile everyday…
…even if I am never ever going to see you.
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