Confession : Farewell...Hello...

I really wish I could have lasted a little bit longer..

A handful of months. That was all, just enough to tie up loose ends, see some sights, shy kisses, last goodbyes.

But as I told a friend yesterday, it happens that there are simple things that we really desire, that would make us happy, and yet these desires will be denied, no matter how much we would want them to be true. In some ways, the act of wanting it to be true fuels the denial.

December 2004. I made a vow that I would offer at least 2 but not more than 3 years of my life to the cause of those whom I love the most. A month shy of hitting the 50/50 mark. Not bad I suppose.

Still, there it is, that lingering feeling, of my desire, to have lasted a little bit more.

But then, it doesn’t matter anymore what I desire.

I do believe there are at least two women in this world who would be happy to know that finally, I am falling. For the two of you, and the rest of your kind should there be others, I have this to say: “fuck you, and yup, the fuck was that good, and thank you.”

For my friends, I must confess that I am not doing as well as all of you might hope, but hey, its me ok? And though I am godless, I am thankful for your prayers.

Things that live die. We all know that.

The sun has fallen. But in this darkness where I am now, I know, as you know, that the sun will rise again.

Farewell.

Hello.