Out in the Sea...

i just recently came back from a 3-day, work-related, seminar workshop. and its good to be back.

but not to say that i did not enjoy the place where i have been. it was tiring work, challenging, but hey, i love my job, and that made it bearable.

once again, i have been to the sea...and i realize how much i miss it, and how, somehow, being at sea changed, tamed something inside of me.

its not that the city where i am now is far away from the waters. it is only a ride away and i could be by the shore. but its good to be really at sea, and not only by the shore.

the winds that was always blowing felt like a thousand caresses on my face, a thousand soft caresses every second. how does it feel? indescribable. pure poetry never meant to be written but only experienced.

turning 3 decades was something that took me by surprise. years before, i never even expected to reach it, much to the sadness of friends. and yet, as if their prayers were answered and answered everyday, here i am, and willing to survive another decade at least.

(hmmmm..perhaps its possible that its gonna take a decade more to finish the great project. =) nah, just kidding..its underway, and ur gonna see pages of it soon...)

a lot of things fell out of place in my life, and could not say that the experiences of the last months have been nothing like i have experienced or imagined before. talk about surprises, and i could remember years ago when i said that one of the reason i wanted to end it all was that there were no more surprises in my life.

im glad that i am wrong.

pieces fell out of place, a lot of pieces, some blown away. and since abandonment = solitude, i learned to pick the pieces, well, the pieces that i could anyway.

somehow, it feels as if i have been sleeping all these time, and i woke up from the long sleep, from the beautiful dreams and fantasies, from the nightmares of loneliness.

of course they all happened, i know that.

i do not know whats gonna happen next, whats gonna come. but im gonna stop trying to figure it out. im gonna stop calculating the odds.

im just gonna go on...

damon steine also turned 10. its been that long...and that short.

wish you could all see me now: i wear a smile not only in my face..but also in my eyes. =)