Circa Amor - Poetry : I Know

I Know

d. steine

I.

I was not a seer on the night

I foretold the end that was to come

In our beginning.

I only saw and heard

With mortal eyes and mortal ears

Your fragile promises sailing

In the uncharted and dangerous ocean

Waves thrashing between our islands

So that it may reach me.

I slept under the light of dead stars

With dreams of holding your hand

While we walk the land like the sun.

II.

I woke up and saw between us

The earth spitting jagged mountains and hills.

Wild fires of memories dancing in mad abandonment--

The waters clothed in ashes, rising as mist

To wall off the hands of the sun.

The wind whispered something in my ear

I did not hear for it came without

A trace of your summer blossoms.

While we were sleeping and dreaming

Someone gave birth and I do not know

I do not know if it bears my name or your’s--

Our name or that of another.

Since that day

I have been going on and on and I have found and lost my way over and over again and I met strangers and friends who tell me I should go out and smile again instead of just talking with myself who knows I might find what I am looking for in this world that spins or dances or twirls and along the road I came along pathways that told me you were out there and that your hands and kisses now belong to someone else and I wonder if you remember me when I go to sleep at night and my hands and fingers tremble in its craving to be held down by yours while my head aches and remembers the unrivaled softness and warmth and refuge offered by your twin breast every time you held me against your chest that no pillow or mattress could ever replace and I have dreams of waking up and the first thing I see is you watching me with your burning eyes that tells me you have been watching me while I sleep so that I would be safe from the mares of the night that stomp their feet and it would be then that I would realize that you are not there and that I am going to be late if I don’t hurry up because the sun had already began its walk of the world and I remind myself I promised that I would go on and write the books of my life for my friends and myself and my son and I would live until I could not do it anymore and not before then and so I go on as I have been going on and on …

I do not know if I am a fool

For though I have seen

The breaking of a world

I look up to the dark heavens

Where there are no gods or goddesses

Because the dark clouds that hover

Promises the fall of rain

To wash away dust & stains.

Like your promise.

You will come back to me, I know.

III.

For every left I take

I remind myself to take another

To make it right.

you will come.

back to me.

i know.

I endure the loss of each day

Soaring in nicotine,

To wash away the pain

I swim in caffeine.

You will come back to me, I know

And I wait for you

With sleeping eyes and awakened ears

You will come back to me

Even if only to keep

Your fragile promise

To tell me

Farewell.

I know.