Pain: Those Kind of Days

It’s that time of the year again. I should have seen it coming. I should have known better.

Over the years, I realize that I do deserve a break every year, even if only for a few hours, or perhaps a day.

I call it my “period”.

Later on, away from home and in the company of loneliness, it got more frequent: from once a year it became twice, till it became like the four seasons.

I should have had this last month, but there were distractions, and I did get distracted.

It was because of this that made me decide that I had to go back home and attend to matters left unfinished. And the last six months have been just that, working on a book that, as it is painful to write, also guarantees a certain respite, a sweetness of some kind.

98% done, and here it is, those kind of days.

It would be convenient if I could call these days my “crazy days,” but that would be a lie, considering I am not crazy, I am all too sane actually, feeling every ounce and inch of despair washing over me. I am never crazy during these days, though the feeling really makes me want to be one.

I am no masochist, but a little pain is good for my penance, for all the crazy things I have done, for all the tears I called forth from all those burning eyes that loved me.

Pain

Without Love

Pain

I can’t get enough

Pain

I like it rough

Cause I’d rather have pain

Than nothing at all…

-- “Pain” by Three Days Grace, from the album “X”