A Letter To Khayte

Khayte,

I am thankful for the message you sent me, considering that the presence of such short but priceless words signify that you have chosen to remain in the realm that most people call the world. I miss you sister, and I would have to apologize for not being able to share a cup of coffee with you though I did extend my stay in our lovely city. In the future, I would do so.

Thank you for the concern that you have shown for my welfare. As always, things could be better, but then as we both know things could get worst. Life goes on, the world is still spinning and all that other stuff that I could say and yet these and other words could never be enough, and so let us leave it like that. I am still here, and that is what is important.

I have never forgotten that on those days when my darkness shone the like stars, among all those who were angry at my betrayal of my own beliefs, you were the only one who promised me that you would understand.

You are right sister, that with the coming end of things for me, my planned moves might seem a little bit harsh, masochistic in some way. The beginning that I do intend to take part of once the end comes is not an easy one, and I apologize if this revelation causes you to worry. But there is indeed a very good reason for my decision.

It is true, that I would be coming back to the place that haunted me, that nearly drove me pitiful, resigned. But I have survived among those ruins, and before they were turned into ruins and became the kingdom for terrifying ghosts, it was nevertheless the garden where I as a child had so many fond memories. I grew up there. Through all my travels, I have learned to love that city like no other, a love that I hope my adopted father would be proud of.

But sister, the truth is, where I am now is like the place I once ran away from. Yes, this city that I have learned to love, where I found reasons to smile and sleep like a newborn has been, with a small help from my own hands, turned into ruins and haunts for new ghosts.

It is not that I am running away, something I have to admit I am good at. But for the Life Project that is my life, this is not the place it deserves. I admit it all began in this city, but it does not have to end here. I still believe, with all my shortcomings, that there is only one city that is good enough and who deserves to see me toil, whose laughter and cries I would endure and listen to. The same city that taught me about life, and if so be it, would also teach me the final lessons of death and dying in its many splendors.

I am alive sister! And you know that until I die, I will endure.

Hope to see your true smile when we see each other again.

For the love of light and dark, I remain, your most grateful and crazy brother.

Jason