Monday, December 05, 2005

on borrowed memories

Note: the followings are just mere rambling..that is..firstdrafts...will try to work on them when i would..wi would, not when i could..but fornow..here they are...



Musings After Midnight


When did your eyes learn how to transform

and capture the light and reflect them into glances of lies?

Why did you make midnight promises

And carve letter on blowing sand?

why call me in so many names

only to leave me with the only one I chose for myself?

Why did you abandon the one you love

And lost what you sought ages to find?

Why coat in sugar and honey the words

that was rotten and bitter in the core?

Why do we trust, is it only to be betrayed?

Why do we live again, is it only to be murdered all over?

Why do memories remain without traces?

Why is holding on so difficult and letting go

As soft and automatic as breathing?

These throng of questions have walked over me

And I have scraps of their passage;

Broken twigs, dried leaves, dried petals falling

all without moisture that a small flicker

can turn them into a bonfire

fit for the cremation of one’s soul.

and yet these questions

whose answers I have long possessed

still haunt me

they bloom each day

like flowers

whose leaves and petals

carry along its surface

the teardrops born

out

of my lonely nights.

-------------- ------------------- ---------------------------------------------

DisConnectIng

What is it, bravery

Or the aftertaste

From the kiss of desperation

Suicidal madness

For one to gouge one’s eyes

Slice off one ear, then the other

Sew the mouth

After the chopped tongue

Cauterized,

Legs crashing

To the call of

“timber!”

Arms and fingers

Crushed, broken

Like twigs to set the flame

Burning that knows no flame or warmth

But only mist

Crawling

Like oil.

To choose

To be suspended in midair

Never knowing how high heaven

Or how hard but fertile

The earth could be even

Amidst giant heaps of stones

And pebbles.

Like clouds I become

Like clouds

Drifting from one landscape

Driven by the currents of your desire

To be left all alone.

How like a cloud,

Transformed and molded

Into named and unnamed shapes

Absorbing moisture

Everything, tears and dirty water

Until everything is heavy

Is dark and gray

And from the weight

Sometimes my labored sighs arrives

After the lightning,

Tears are shed

That people run away from

Hide from,

With no one to wipe them dry.

How like clouds

Whose shape

Is raked into strips, thin and thin

Like stardust that is never quite seen

And all that remains

Is the sky

Blue, like the ocean

Whose surface

Froths and waves

While underneath lies

The stories and treasures

Never to be revealed or told.

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