Finally...

after having so many reasons to keep it off, the time has come.

and that time is for me to continue to work on my last two projects: my autobiography and a collection of my best works (that is if after i get down to weeding them out, the crass from the diamonds, something would remain, well, hopefully)

the autobiography is for someone i may never meet in this lifetime, but someone to whom i owe a responsibility of at least leaving fragments of my experiences that he could at least patch up, connect the dots, trace the constellations of the man. i am hopeful that in time, he would appreciate the effort. Jian, this is for you, the least i could do for you.

the other is also more personal, my collection of poetry. its been some time since i have started writing these works i dare call poetry. so many have come and passed. and for quite a long time i didn't know what i really wanted with my works, what direction it was going to (though friends have been fast to notice that they have a single thing in common : women) perhaps when this book is completed, some of my more social and political works would find the audience they have been craving for. i feel that for all the experiences that i have been lucky and damned to feel, it is only worth it that i somehow attempt to show how they have been to me, as witnessed from my eyes.

some friends would know what this would signify. do not worry, the book is not yet finished, and what is going to happen when the books are done will only happen when the books are finished. and yup, im gonna make sure none of you get to steal the drafts, or prevent you from burning my house just to make sure that this "dead-end" project would not be born.

i am still alive, and that is what is important.

its not gonna be easy i know, when all of my senses would be sharpened to face these two projects. but they have been kept off for too long, and while there is still time, there is hope, and a chance to finish them.

working titles so far are:

autobiography : "i confess i have been loved..."

poetry : "broken glass on the pavement"

thank you.