for whom the bell tolls?!

grim thoughts....

a few nights ago, someone took time with me and warned me to watch my back. that someone was out there to hurt me. that somebody, i guess, wants me dead. said person, who i assume is a she, told me she was gonna keep me informed. No, she did not tell me who she was, only that she was a friend.

of course, it could be the enemy itself warning me. why warn me?! well, just to fuck me up in the brain, sort of a random move that would leave me in a quandry. i would do that if i wanted to hurt someone, deception veing an important tool of every war.

of course, it could also be some weird people who somehow got to zero in on me amidst the great universe of cyberspace, got a lock on who i really am behind the name and decided to have some wicked fun. i dont do stuff like these, but others might. and perhaps have.

but the person, she, knew a name i once used, a name that caused a lil bit of storm about a year ago. she must know me.

but the point is this, someone made a warning, or a threat perhaps. whoever did it, whethet true or false, does not really matter. the more important question is: is there a reason why someone should hurt me, harm me, even perhaps, kill me?

Yes. there is.

i could at least think of two people who would want me dead.

one of them whom my remaining friends fondly joke as my "best friend".

the other is someone who was really my best friend before we learned to betray each other real good. of course, she doesn't have to kill me cause im doing a better job of that than any one could ever think of. or perhaps someone close to her, someone who wants the memory of me to remain a few feet below the ground.

or perhaps, its someone i have no idea about.

i have always said that everything ends, sooner o later. i couldnot die, not yet, not with a book out there to compensate for my existence in the fringes of life. and most friends know how i would die when i get that book out.

but, if i ever meet a gruesome death in the next 3 months or so, then you could say i knew it all along.

one more thing, i don't like back stabbers. i dont wanna watch my back. if you wanna kill me, face me, and lets dance.